Sunday night...

For those of you who follow this blog, you're probably pretty familiar with the fact that I tend to reserve Sunday nights exclusively for the chance to reminisce about old-girlfriends and growing up. Well, this Sunday is no different. As time goes on I find that not only do I reminisce about the old girlfriends, but more and more so I begin to ask myself and probe, why exactly these relationships failed. It's a cliche of course, of the 'hi-fidelity' sense, but I am absorbed by the process none-the-less. I was reading a report recently on how 60% of Americans spend more time with their PC than with their significant other. I'm afraid I must admit that as a career centric person- my PC actually _IS_ my significant other and through all the love's and up's and downs, the internet has always been there.

Kinda pathetic.

But that's my life none-the-less. In a story fit for "This American Life" I've found that I have a hard time letting go of older PC's that no longer fill any purpose in my life. Logic seems to say I should 'let them go', sell them or something. But I don't. I keep them, in pieces mostly, as I bat around any number of do-it-yourself type projects that might seem to breath new life into the machines. Robots. Fancy Alarm Clocks that play mp3's. Video Recorders. File Servers. But despite my best attempts to create an afternoon project for myself I'm always left with the realization that I don't need Mp3 alarm clocks or Video Recorders (I don't even watch television). It's sad in a strange way. There's no place left in my life left, but yet I still don't want to let go.

Of course, I don't mean to compare old loves to obsolete computers. Not at all. But I think there's something about my personality that seems to be illuminated in this little anecdote. When I look at my collection of old cameras, old cell phones, old computers, old *things* I realize more and more that I simply can't let go of things that don't any longer have a place in my life and what I find is that my life actually gets fuller from all these things. They no longer function, no longer 'give back', yet they contribute to sense of 'wholeness' that withdraws me ever so slightly more away from the desire to go out there and 'get new stuff'. I certainly could purchase a television. Or Cable Tv. Or any number of fancy 'things', but actually I don't.

Transpose this analogy and suddenly I'm thinking perhaps it's time to stop reminiscing about old girlfriends and loves. I'm young and by no means anywhere near a truly defining relationship that might mean marriage, kids, etc... the truth is my life is becoming unduly full of moments that don't connect to the present nor the future.

As my mother would say, "just get over it".



But I don't get aroudn